Newbie3 Coming!

I am 11 weeks along! The due date is December 9, but neither of my boys hit anywhere near their due date, so I'm thinking sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas and leaving it at that. The video was taken when I was about 9 weeks along.

I go to my first appointment this Thursday. Any other tidbits I might want to share, I think I've put in posts that I've been writing along the way, and not posting yet. I'll post them up soon!

From 38 Weeks to a Family of Four!

Wow, how do I catch this blog up?

Four days after my last post, at 38 1/2 weeks, little James Elliot was born! I knew (and hoped) that James was coming soon, but didn't realize it would be that soon!

We've had all kinds of family and friends here to help, and now life has finally settled back to normal...though it's definitely a new normal! We'll be figuring out exactly what "normal" looks like for a family of four in the days to come!

My time on the computer has been reduced to snippets between feeding a newborn and dealing with a toddler, so here are the basics, and hopefully I can flesh it out more a little bit later!

James Elliot Norvell
Born August 31, 2010 at 11:15am
5lbs, 12oz
19 inches long

I went into labor on Monday and still managed to go to Bunko that night! My mom made it to the house by 10pm, our friend Debbie showed up at 4am to watch Caleb, and we headed to the hospital at 5am on Tuesday morning. Labor was WAY different than the first time. I knew it would be different, but I didn't realize HOW different. Contractions were completely manageable all the way to the point of pushing. And then pushing? Wow, that was a trip. Doing it naturally is insane. Not because of the pain, but because of the power. I had no idea I could push so hard, and it's now no wonder to me that Caleb needed vacuum extraction, because there's no way I was pushing that hard when he was born.

Anyway, after a whole 15 minutes of pushing, our little five-pounder was born!

It wasn't too many minutes later that we knew something was different about James. His features were different, and we now have a confirmed diagnosis of Down Syndrome. Thankfully (and perhaps miraculously), he was born perfectly healthy, with none of the heart or lung problems common to Down babies. We were able to go home within only 24 hours of James' birth!

A common question these days: How is Caleb doing?

Well...I think he's doing okay. I attributed any unusual activity to the terrible twos, but this past weekend Jon and I have realized that Caleb is definitely dealing with the arrival of his new brother. So far, he has not directed any animosity towards James, and only shows constant love and affection for him, showering him with kisses and hugs and offerings of milk from Caleb's sippy cup or perhaps a Cheerio. However, in other parts of Caleb's life (mainly naptimes), there has been a change. In the attempt to be in control of something, Caleb has mutinied naps and in the last couple of days become quite irrational and frustrated during the times he should be taking a nap. It turns out he's also been coming down with a cold or sinus infection of some sort, which hasn't helped matters. But all in all, Caleb is doing well and I think he will adjust in time.

So that's the quick update...haha! I just can't do anything quickly, can I? Here are the pics of the first couple of days...more to come later!

COMING THIS FALL: NEWBIE2!!

That's right, folks! For those of you who didn't know, we're expecting another little Newbie! Newbie2 is due September 9. I am 11 weeks pregnant as of today. Hooray!

Caleb will be 21 months when Newbie2 is born, and I'm sure he'll be thrilled about it. Haha.

But Jon and I are really excited about our new little kumquat. As with Caleb, I'm going to refer to Newbie2 as a "he" in the generic sense. Though, if you ask me, I'll tell you I want another boy. I've loved raising Caleb this last year! However, when I was pregnant with Caleb, I wanted a girl, so you see how he quickly changed my mind. I'm sure if we have a girl, she'll soon convince me that girls are as wonderful as boys.

I've got video of our 10-week sonogram to put up, but we're about to head out to visit Grandma's house for the weekend. I just couldn't let another minute go by without posting the announcement!

More next week!

The big news dampened by life

Today Jon and I have been making phonecalls about insurance and doulas (because I've decided I really want a doula this time around). It turns out that insurance companies aren't too keen on insuring pregnant women. Though in a way we're in luck, because the company we'd decided on pre-pregnancy doesn't offer maternity coverage the whole first year of having a policy, so we would have been stuck if we'd gotten pregnant sometime next year. (And considering that the baby bug bit me about 6 months after Caleb was born, the likelihood was pretty high that we'd get pregnant this next year.) As for doulas, well, good luck finding one south of I-30. The closest one I can find is almost 3 hours away. I called an OB office in town and they didn't even know what a doula was! The nurse asked if I had a good friend in town that I could ask to help out. So let's hope I make some really good friends in the next eight months.

That, plus another look at the budget--which for some reason is not adding up--and I just don't feel real excited about my news. We haven't told anyone but close family (and those are good stories I'll be sure to tell eventually). I know I need to call a few friends, but just don't feel chipper enough to muster an excited announcement.

Dave and Karen are coming over tonight to celebrate, and I know they will be encouraging and happy. Sounds like just what we need!

What to tell work

NOTE: I started this post April 21st, before I told work that I was pregnant. I was going to edit it for today, but decided to leave it as is and then add edits to the end. So this first section was written before work knew about my pregnancy.
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When I first started working at Texas Life (part time, in 2004), I worked in the office. When I moved, I broached the topic of working from home. It was quickly squelched. Evidently, someone had done it before (who didn't live in the state), and had gotten pregnant and had a baby without the company even knowing. That left a bad taste in their mouths, and they wouldn't think of it.

Well, we all know that at some point they changed their minds, because I now work at home for them, and have for 3 years. However, I'm not sure how my being pregnant will affect their attitudes. In some ways, I think it will be fine. My boss is a granddad and likes to think of himself as a father figure to me. He worries about me and makes sure I take enough time off, etc. And almost everyone on the marketing team has kids. However, they've all got crazy lives, crazy schedules, and most have divorces or dead marriages because of the life of a salesperson. I'm not sure many will understand that I never have found my fulfillment in work, and having a baby will make that more obvious.

Having a baby will also bring up the question, "What will you do after the baby is born?" Many women take their maternity, go back a couple weeks, then quit their jobs. The problem is that I don't know the answer to that question. The truth is, I would love to quit. I've seen work-at-home moms, and it's hard, if not impossible, to keep up the same level of productivity with a newborn.

On the other hand, it just may not be in the cards for me to quit, yet. And that's fine, too. But I can't give work a confident, "Yes! I'll be back and more ready than ever to work hard for this company!"

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Here starts the post from today:

So I told work, obviously, and it has not been quite roses since then. Well, I thought it was until last week, when I got my performance reviews in (reviewed by my boss and peers). It turns out that the people in my department don't feel I'm pulling my weight, or sacrificing enough for my job. They feel it's just a job to me, and no more. Which, if you just read the first section of this post, you'll know is true. My work is not my life, and I sadly work in a department where most people have sacrificed their lives (and the lives of their families) for their work. Now, there are two sides to every coin, and I'm not saying the review was completely off the mark, but this is the first review I've gotten in three years that has been less than exemplary, so I do know there's a connection.

Last week I also had a discussion with my boss about my maternity leave. At the time, we knew of no one in our department who had set a precedent for maternity leave--everyone came into the dept. with kids already (which tells you the age difference between myself and everyone else). The day I announced my pregnancy, I'd asked for 6 weeks leave, and I described when I would take off and get back, supposing Caleb came the day expected. However, last week, my boss wanted me to outline again exactly what I wanted, and he implied that I needed to be available for emergencies, and stay in contact at least through part of my leave. Well, I know what an "emergency" is in a marketing department: it's any crazy project you promised to a client to be ready by Friday. They come up every week. So I knew I didn't like that idea, but didn't know exactly what to do.

Yesterday I went to lunch with a lady who has 5 kids and hasn't been in the department very long. She stressed the importance of 6 weeks of leave, and how I was doing the right thing to expect it. Knowing how our department works, she did suggest a compromise by my offering to be available through e-mail the last two weeks. Then, evidently, after I left for home last night, she went in and talked to our boss, expressing my frustration about it. It turns out he had done a little research himself, and found that one lady in our dept. did take maternity leave, and she took 12 weeks! My friend told him that she thought my request for 6 weeks was very good, and she would support it. She called me this morning to tell me, but still reminded me that offering to be available the last two weeks was still a good move. And I agree.

So, here is what I will request (and you can put edits in your comments): 6 weeks maternity, leaving Nov. 21st to return on Jan. 5th. The last two weeks (Dec. 22-Jan 2), I would be available through e-mail only, and only do edits of existing pieces, no creation of new pieces. Any time I spend working will not be counted against my maternity, including 30 minutes per e-mail.

So what do you think? Now, I realize that's the holiday weeks, and I can't imagine that they would find a reason to e-mail, but I'm willing to still answer any e-mails. Plus, Caleb will pick his own time to come, so the last two weeks might not fall on the holidays.

The following paragraph subject to change due to further instruction from God:

Beyond my maternity leave, Jon and I have decided that I will quit my job when able. That means that if Jon has already found a job starting in January, I will probably go ahead and quit, with perhaps a couple of weeks to prepare things for the next person coming in. If he has not yet found a job, I'll keep working until he does, and he'll keep on with his part-time security job, which will allow him to stay home with Caleb on the days I go into the office. When I quit, I become full-time mom and part-time photographer.

And with that paragraph, my life changes!

The Big Reveal

It's a boy!

The sonogram wasn't scheduled for another week, but we ended up having it today. We have a healthy boy!

His name is Caleb Alan.

More story later!

Telling Work

On Wednesday, I got to tell everyone at work. Monday's sonogram had confirmed that we'd made it through the first trimester, and it was time to share the news! I wanted to tell my boss first, because it's only right. He was in a meeting, and I haunted his door until he made it back. He'd barely sat down when I popped in and closed the door. I handed him an envelope with the sonogram pics in it. He pulled them out then looked at me. "You?" he asked. "Yep!"

He was almost giddy. He reached across the desk and shook my hand. (There's a misconception around work that I'm not a hugger, but that's another story.) He said he felt like he was getting another grandchild, he was so proud. Later he wrote me a nice e-mail saying what a great mother I would be.

After that, my next stop was Jan, who has been my "work mom" since I got to Texas Life. I showed off my locket Jon had given me. I'd put a sonogram picture in it (I know, no one knows what it is except me, and that's okay), and I said, "Well, here's the real picture so you can see it better" and hander her the sonogram. She was so excited. She said, "I thought this morning, 'Lydia looks pregnant!' "

Well, we work in cubicles, so announcing to Jan meant that two other women knew in about 23 seconds. And that was how it started. After that, it wasn't long before most everyone knew. We're a company of about 120 people--30 who know me--and the Marketing Dept is good at spreading news, what can I say? Pretty soon people started showing up, saying, "I was told to come see you." I even got an e-mail from a girl who doesn't even work there anymore! It was so great.

I'm the youngest in my department, so most everyone I told already has children, and it felt like they were welcoming me to their club. Like I'd entered a new stage, and they were all happy for me to be there with them. I guess the newlywed stage is so much shorter than the children stage; it must be harder to relate to.

And that was that! I think that's all the announcing I'll be doing. It's been so much fun to spread good news. We're so blessed to have family and friends to rejoice with us!

Welcome Public World!

Hey! If you're just getting to the blog for the first time, welcome! Be sure and read and comment!

If you're wondering why I waited so long to make it public, I had some people at work who read my lmnovations blog, so I didn't want them to find out and pass the news on to my boss before I told him myself.

More later about announcing to work!

Other people we've told

Besides the family and Leanna, we've now told Holly and the Sapps. Holly was ecstatic and very indignant that we'd waited SO LONG to tell her, which was exactly how I knew she'd react. I love that girl. Ten minutes after we left her house, her mom called, ALSO ecstatic! I feel like we're part of the family! Holly and I have started walking together in the afternoons, so I'm looking forward to today's walk so we can talk all about baby stuff! Sophie is almost 2 now, and Holly has been a very practical mom, so she's a very good resource about diapers, what a baby really needs, etc. Of course, she's cursed me with twins (usually whenever I'm laughing at Sophie disobeying), so we'll see if that comes true or not! How crazy would that be!

The Sapps are family friends of the Norvells, and Raymond Sapp is the musician extraordinaire in the bluegrass band I'm in. So, I wanted to tell him so I could give a good amount of notice before I left the band. We've got a potential/probable gig in June, and that will be my last. I've learned and improved so much since we started getting together, so I'll miss all the practice, but I stay pretty overcommitted most of the time, and I just can't keep that up when I'm trying to make a baby! So, I'll start to cut down on things.

Oh, and I also told Greta, who I'm pretty sure called me to "announce" about ten minutes after she took the pregnancy test, so it was fun to tell her. She's about 7 weeks ahead of me, so she's my pregnant friend to discuss preparation and nursery and all that with. She also lives in Lubbock, so no fear of telling anyone else.

HOWEVER, Jon keeps hounding me about spilling the beans to everyone! Gosh.... (Napoleon Dynamite-style) We're having our next church planting meeting on April 5th, so we'll probably need to tell those people, since this greatly affects our decisions (it doesn't change the fact that we're doing it, just maybe the logistics of things). So, if Jon convinces me that we need to tell them, then we'll probably tell everyone around that time.

It's so fun to tell everyone! Hooray!!

The Grandparents got it out of us!

So Grandpa called today just to chat. Then I talked with Grandma for a bit, and she started talking about the things she was working on for her great grandkids for Christmas. It just seemed so perfect, I couldn't resist telling her, "You'll have another great grandkid at Christmas!!" She really just pulled it out of me! Gotta watch out for those grandmothers!

So then I called my Mawmaw, who said she'd expected "the announcement" would be coming soon, so she wasn't surprised in the least. Both grandmothers hoped for a girl.

We'll be telling Jon's grandparents soon as well.

As for everyone else, I still don't know when we'll tell them. Jon doesn't think we'll be able to keep the secret very long. I'd still like to hold off a little. I know I'd originally said we'd tell those we'd also tell if there's a miscarriage, but as I explained to my mom today, telling people makes it so much more real, and the loss so much worse if we were to miscarry. So, the longer we wait, the better chances our baby has, and that happier we'll be when we let people know.

Since the announcement

It's so hard not to tell everyone!! Leanna called me, she may even be coming over today, and I'm not sure I'll be able to hold it in! I may tell her. After all, I don't get to see her all that often, so I should tell her when I get the chance, right? And Margie comes over almost every day for Pilates, and Holly's just next door....all I'm thinking about is being pregnant, and I can't tell them!

Of course, this is self-inflicted torture, because Jon and I chose to wait until after our first appointment to tell grandparents and best friends. Still...

Speaking of appointments, I called a doctor yesterday to make an appointment. There's a group of 3 doctors, and I really wanted one (and really didn't want another), but because of scheduling difficulties, ended up with the one I didn't want. She's known to be pretty blunt and all business, taking more precautions than most doctors, and I wanted someone a little more laid back. So I'm trying to decide if I should call one more doctor today. Only this doctor, I have no idea about, just reviews online, which are of course too varied to tell. The differences between the two, based on reviews (and my friend's experience with the first):

Doctor A: All business. If you have questions, you better ask quick, because she won't wait around for you to come up with them. It's her way or the highway, and my friend said she explained things like a man, so her husband really liked her. She's always on time and very professional.

Doctor B: All bedside manner. She'll chew the fat with you until you're exchanging friendship bracelets. One reviewer also said she'd go the extra mile to do research on your particular symptoms, etc, which piqued my interest because of my vulvar vestibulitis, which many doctors don't know about, and even fewer really know how to treat. Because of her friendliness, the wait time for appointments is very long.

So, a task master or a friend...I think the friend appeals to me much more, but I may need someone not as much like me, a taskmaster to keep me in line. I don't know....

On to another topic, I don't have any pregnancy signs yet. No nausea or cravings. I haven't been very hungry, though, and have lost a pound and a half. SO...I guess I'll be finishing my plate no matter what! I'm not a pregnancy expert, but I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to LOSE weight!

How we told everyone

Dave & Karen: Our first to tell! We got on speakerphone to talk with them. Karen was saying how she was so sorry about the kittens, and I said something like, "Yeah, I don't know how we're going to get over it." Then Jon said, "Well, we actually have one thing that might help...." We paused to let that sink in, and the next thing was Karen screaming, "NO WAY!!" Then we all started screaming, and because it was on speakerphone, we had no idea what we all said, but it was evident we were all excited. :) We hung up from talking with them, and then they surprised us by showing up at our door about an hour later! We chit-chatted for awhile, then grabbed ice cream and celebrated!

Walter & Mary: They were out of pocket almost the whole day. Finally, right before Dave & Karen came over, they returned our call. Jon's message had been something like, "Call us. Today. Please." (Not obvious at all.) Then when they called, Jon asked if they could get on speaker (again I'm thinking they're sure to guess). Their phone doesn't have speakerphone, so they must have just put both their ears to the phone. Jon said, "So we have something to tell you." There's a pause, and Mary said, "What?" (Like she kind of had a guess.) I said, "Well, you're going to be coming here this Christmas." Mary: "Is there a reason?" I said, "Cuz we ain't travelin' with a baby!" Walter's first response was, "Are you kidding us?" but we reassured them that no, we were really pregnant! We didn't talk long because Dave & Karen came at that point, and Walter was crying too much to talk anyway.

Alan & Carolyn, John & Karen: Since we were going to see them today for birthday celebration, we could plan a little bit more. I made a little shirt for Ian that said, "I'm the cousin." It's a shirt that will be big enough for him to wear in November. I stuck it in a gift bag and explained with something like, "Oh, and we got something for Ian because it was just too cute to pass up!" It was lunchtime when we got to John & Karen's, but I didn't want to eat until we'd announced! I begged everyone to do gifts first (which is not abnormal for me), and was relieved when we did. If we hadn't, it might have been announced like, "PasstheketchupWE'REPREGNANT!" Anyway, we all opened gifts, and I gave Ian's gift to John to open last. As he pulled out the shirt, his first words were, "This is huge!" Then he glanced over the words and flipped it around for everyone else to see. Suddenly, it hit him, and his face went blank and he said, "What." in a disbelieving, deadpan voice. A small pause, then everyone figured it out at once! My mom was FLOORED because I'd managed to keep our little baby bug secret pretty well. My dad said he could have figured it out (yeah....). It was so great.

Jon's got a secret (before we told)!

"What."

"I knew all along!"

"!!!!"

Everyone's reactions were priceless and memorable. We were so excited to tell you yesterday and today, and covet your prayers in this new journey!

Now leave comments with your version of how it happened: what you were thinking and when you figured it out!