Last night I had a nice post in mind, about how satisfied I felt about life. I think I should have written it, so I could remind myself this morning!
Isn't it sad how quickly our mindsets change? Let me try to recreate last night....
Caleb got to go to the high school softball game with Jon. Caleb is now old enough to play on the playground with his friends, while Jon watches the game (and keeps an eye on Caleb from a distance). We definitely love our small town, and the fact that if other people are at the park, they are likely church members who we trust to keep an eye on our boy for us.
While the "big boys" were at the game, I was getting dinner ready. I was very tired yesterday, and didn't really relish the idea of making the energy-intensive meal I'd planned for the night...but I did it, anyway. It was really yummy, and I got to use these things from our garden: broccoli, lettuce, and basil. That made me VERY happy. I really hope our garden continues to do well this summer.
When the boys came back, Caleb and James went outside to play while I finished up the last bits of dinner. James isn't old enough to go out by himself, yet, but Caleb is an excellent tattle-tale, and I can trust I will know if James is doing something he's not supposed to!
As a side note, Caleb is now covered in mosquito bites, while James doesn't seem to be. Which mirrors exactly their mom and dad. I am covered in bites, while Jon--if he is--doesn't seem bothered by them.
It was finally dinner time, which consisted of the usual up-and-down routine for me. James has improved tremendously when it comes to eating, but it's still a battle! Dinner ended with James signing "potty," Jon carrying him off to the bathroom, and Caleb asking to be excused. I was left by myself to finish my dinner. That's what happens when I'm the slowest eater in the family!
As another side note, James immediately went to the bathroom once he was on the potty. Sometimes I get really excited that he is "getting it," but other days we just have lots of wet diapers. I have in my mind that eventually we'll just have dry diapers all day long, going potty every couple of hours, and I'll just starting putting him in undies. Wouldn't that be a lovely transition! Can you tell I'm not relishing the idea of a potty training boot camp?
We ended the day with prayers. James went on to bed after that, and Caleb stayed up for story time. We are reading The Hobbit now. It's been so long since I've read it, that I have no idea what is coming up next! Jon has read The Hobbit once a year for most of his life, I think, so he can explain the map, and how it all comes back into the Lord of the Rings. Must be handy having such a memory!
I love my boys. I'm sorry I have not updated about them much lately! They are both growing and learning. Caleb is starting to spell! He can sound out simple words surprisingly well! And James is getting more comfortable with walking. It's still not his primary mode of locomotion, but it's getting there!
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Sunday, February 17, 2013
A Reminder That I Am Not In Control
I'm not sure how to start this off. It's not fun or light-hearted. But I have two reasons for sharing. One, because it's not fun or light-hearted. I never want to give the impression that our lives are peachy, and that our faith in God is only because everything goes so well all the time. And two, because I need people to know. I don't want a lot of sympathy notes or casseroles. I just want people to know.
Two weeks ago I had a miscarriage.
I was about five weeks along, which means we'd known about a week. I already had my announcement blog written, as well as a list of things to add to my Amazon wish list once it was "official."
Last time we announced to family, we'd only found out that very morning. This time, since Caleb is older and more aware of things, we'd decided to wait to tell family members until our first doctor visit at 8 weeks or so.
The pregnancy started out differently from the other two, with spotting. I'd read that could be normal, and a phonecall to the doctor confirmed that. The spotting stopped, but resumed a few days later, this time more like real bleeding. Of course, it was a Friday afternoon, so I worried and Googled all weekend. We also called our parents to let them know what was going on, so they could join us in praying. By Monday, I was sure that I was miscarrying, and that was that.
However, at Monday's appointment, my doctor suggested that I might have sub-chorionic bleeding. That can be problematic in and of itself, but it meant that what I was experiencing could right itself, unlike a miscarriage. I regained hope that the pregnancy would make it.
On Monday, and again on Wednesday, I gave blood to test for HCG levels (pregnancy hormone). By Thursday, my bleeding had mostly stopped, and without any of the cramping or huge clots I had read would occur in a miscarriage. I told myself that the doctor had been right about the sub-chorionic bleeding, and that it was already healing, but an afternoon phonecall relaying my abysmal (and falling) HCG levels confirmed my fears.
Miscarriage.
The nurse said that what was done, was done. I was no longer pregnant, and thankfully there would be no need for further procedures or tests. As a matter of fact, had this happened 30 years ago, I would have assumed my cycle was weird for the month, and never suspected pregnancy.
When we heard the news, I really didn't feel anything. I didn't cry. I was grateful to know, one way or the other. The chipper little BabyCenter 6-week email didn't bother me; I just logged into my account to delete my third child I'd set up on their site. Just like that.
I wondered if I was just pushing down the grief--that maybe it would surface one day, and I'd be a ball of tears. So far (so far...) this hasn't happened. I've known many of my friends who have miscarried--some very recently. That, combined with the almost constant spotting/bleeding during the pregnancy, somehow protected my heart from being too certain that this baby was going to make it. And you know, God IS in control. I trust that with all my heart, and I trust that He has a good plan for me, and for my family. He has shown that to be true over and over again in my life, and I don't doubt Him on this one.
It's a good reminder that I am not in control: I cannot will things to happen in my life that I wish would happen.
It's also a good reminder of what's important. So many times when we were going through that week of uncertainty, as I listened to a minor complaint (that seemed major to the person complaining), I wanted to say, "Don't you realize how trivial that is? Do you realize I am losing my child inside of me, right now, and I can't do anything about it?"
And I guess that comes back to why I feel the need to write this post, instead of just letting things be. It just seems--though it was only a few moments in my life--that it's something I will always think of. Though it played itself out so quietly and quickly, it was significant.
Two weeks ago I had a miscarriage.
I was about five weeks along, which means we'd known about a week. I already had my announcement blog written, as well as a list of things to add to my Amazon wish list once it was "official."
Last time we announced to family, we'd only found out that very morning. This time, since Caleb is older and more aware of things, we'd decided to wait to tell family members until our first doctor visit at 8 weeks or so.
The pregnancy started out differently from the other two, with spotting. I'd read that could be normal, and a phonecall to the doctor confirmed that. The spotting stopped, but resumed a few days later, this time more like real bleeding. Of course, it was a Friday afternoon, so I worried and Googled all weekend. We also called our parents to let them know what was going on, so they could join us in praying. By Monday, I was sure that I was miscarrying, and that was that.
However, at Monday's appointment, my doctor suggested that I might have sub-chorionic bleeding. That can be problematic in and of itself, but it meant that what I was experiencing could right itself, unlike a miscarriage. I regained hope that the pregnancy would make it.
On Monday, and again on Wednesday, I gave blood to test for HCG levels (pregnancy hormone). By Thursday, my bleeding had mostly stopped, and without any of the cramping or huge clots I had read would occur in a miscarriage. I told myself that the doctor had been right about the sub-chorionic bleeding, and that it was already healing, but an afternoon phonecall relaying my abysmal (and falling) HCG levels confirmed my fears.
Miscarriage.
The nurse said that what was done, was done. I was no longer pregnant, and thankfully there would be no need for further procedures or tests. As a matter of fact, had this happened 30 years ago, I would have assumed my cycle was weird for the month, and never suspected pregnancy.
When we heard the news, I really didn't feel anything. I didn't cry. I was grateful to know, one way or the other. The chipper little BabyCenter 6-week email didn't bother me; I just logged into my account to delete my third child I'd set up on their site. Just like that.
I wondered if I was just pushing down the grief--that maybe it would surface one day, and I'd be a ball of tears. So far (so far...) this hasn't happened. I've known many of my friends who have miscarried--some very recently. That, combined with the almost constant spotting/bleeding during the pregnancy, somehow protected my heart from being too certain that this baby was going to make it. And you know, God IS in control. I trust that with all my heart, and I trust that He has a good plan for me, and for my family. He has shown that to be true over and over again in my life, and I don't doubt Him on this one.
It's a good reminder that I am not in control: I cannot will things to happen in my life that I wish would happen.
It's also a good reminder of what's important. So many times when we were going through that week of uncertainty, as I listened to a minor complaint (that seemed major to the person complaining), I wanted to say, "Don't you realize how trivial that is? Do you realize I am losing my child inside of me, right now, and I can't do anything about it?"
And I guess that comes back to why I feel the need to write this post, instead of just letting things be. It just seems--though it was only a few moments in my life--that it's something I will always think of. Though it played itself out so quietly and quickly, it was significant.
Friday, February 01, 2013
Thanksgiving 2012
My in-laws have lived in their home for several years, and yet we have somehow never had a family holiday there! We had to adjust a little--our party of four got to stay in a nearby house, but we really enjoyed being all together. It's always fun when the Norvell men get together, and we "add-ons"--the Norvell women--well, we have a lot of fun, too!
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| James cheering for the iPad. |
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| Playing outside at a neighbor's house |
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| The diner is open for business! |
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| Caleb pulls the whole mound of flowers, roots and all |
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| Nana helps Caleb make rainbow cupcakes for his birthday |
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| Nana and Granddad with all the grandsons |
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| James is an accessory guy. |
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| The cupcakes are baked! Now time for icing and sprinkles! |
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| Story time with Granddad |
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| Caleb being silly |
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| Granddad loves his boys |
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| ...ALL of them! |
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| Nana with Caleb and James |
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| Throw Calvin in there and see if we can get the shot! |
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| Father-son time |
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| It's party-time! |
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| Caleb opens his super hero cape! |
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| And a bow and arrow set...just what he wanted |
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| Ooh, a nerf gun from Uncle Dave and fam |
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| Uncle Dave (our police officer) explains gun safety |
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| The masked avenger! |
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| Our family photo |
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Great Grandparent Visit
My grandparents live about 7 hours away (that's driving without kids), so getting to see them is rare. As a matter of fact, last November, it had been almost a year since we'd seen them last. We call often, and would get on Skype whenever possible, so the boys knew their great grandparents, but we were well overdue a visit. My mom offered to come along for the ride, which was a big help, since Jon wasn't able to come.
It was a sweet, sweet time, as it always is at either of my grandparents' houses. I have so so many memories from my childhood, and it makes my heart happy to know that my boys will have a few tucked in their pockets, too.
It was a sweet, sweet time, as it always is at either of my grandparents' houses. I have so so many memories from my childhood, and it makes my heart happy to know that my boys will have a few tucked in their pockets, too.
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| Great Grandpa and James have lots of fun |
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| Already playing games! |
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| James shows off his walking skills |
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| Great Grandma read lots of books to the boys. |
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| Great Grandma made sure all the leaves were still there for the boys to play in, and they loved them! |
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| Caleb dancing around "the first tree of Christmas!" |
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| Great Aunt Mary was just what James needed to fall asleep. |
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| Caleb is very important as he waters Uncle George's garden. |
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| Caleb had looked through the Toys R Us ad, and decided that THIS is what he wanted for his birthday...and that's what he got! |
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| Caleb got to take an antique airplane out for a spin! |
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| It was Caleb's first real success at pedaling. |
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| You can tell how pleased he is with himself! |
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| Aviator Caleb! |
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| Time for Little Man to take a turn! |
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| Uncle George starts the engine. |
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| More reading time! |
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| Grandma gets a chance to play ball with James |
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| Caleb picked a flower for Great Grandma |
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| Great Grandma takes James for a walk |
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| The boys enjoy Great Grandpa's piano! |
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| Great Grandpa gets ready for his recital |
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| A sweet, sweet moment that I am so glad I captured. These two love each other dearly! |
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| And these two are pretty fast friends, as well! |
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| I've always loved my Grandma's hands. |
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| Our family. |
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