Being the Mom

Today began like a normal day for us. It was busy for Jon as he's preparing for our youth mission trip/retreat that starts tomorrow. Caleb and I went through our normal routine. I spent his first nap fixing his crib bumper; a few of the ties had pulled off and I was replacing them with ribbons. Caleb's second nap was much shorter, and I didn't get much of a nap myself. When Jon got home, Caleb and I were playing on our bed; I was pretending I was getting rest and Caleb was pretending to talk on the phone. Jon broke the news that he'd finally heard from the insurance company, and we'd been denied.

Denied.

And it wasn't even because of my pregnancy; it was other mundane stuff that I'm wondering would mean we'd be denied anywhere. I never really expected to get turned down. We're healthy people, we don't go to the dr. very often, and it just didn't cross my mind. But now that we're not on a group plan, the requirements are more stringent, and that's that. Denied.

We can appeal, which we will do, but I'm not sure it will work. We still don't meet their requirements, but the lady on the phone suggested we appeal that those requirements aren't necessary. Okay...if that works, then I'm not sure why they're requirements in the first place, but we're willing to try. We're not sure what other options we have.

So, there we were this afternoon, a little shell-shocked and more than a little on edge. Caleb's normal antics were met with quick disapproval from us. I was happy to send he and his Daddy out to play while I thought about things and worked on dinner.

I stepped outside to discuss dinner with Jon. We ended up having a quiet conversation about insurance. We both felt a bit hopeless about it. Watching Caleb roam the yard was comforting. But then it happened. Caleb's feet tripped up underneath him and he fell. His chin hit the edge of a large ceramic pot on our patio. His eyes widened in surprise and pain, and then cries came that would not be subdued for quite awhile.

I rushed toward Caleb as Jon identified blood inside his mouth. We had a short yelling session--neither of us angry at the other, just not knowing what to do. Jon looked me in the eye and said, "You need to calm down!" So I did. I wanted a mom. What would a mom do? Oh my gosh, I am the mom. Think. Do something. Blood, spit and snot were all coming from the general area of Caleb's face, and I couldn't tell exactly what was coming from where. I sent Jon for a juice pop--a homemade ice pop made with fruit juice that we use when Caleb hurts his lip. I quickly realized I needed water and a towel, and yelled after Jon to bring that. He didn't hear, but came back with what I needed the second time. On his third trip I'd thought to ask for Ibuprofen.

Caleb was inconsolable. He wanted nothing to do with the juice pop. He got off my lap and walked a few feet away. He stopped crying. But then he stood there as if the movement caused the pain all over again. He looked around, lost, then began crying again. I brought him back to me. We tried to use the water to wash the blood out of his mouth and see what had happened. Sure enough, there was a small red crescent on his tongue, just the shape of his top four teeth. I couldn't tell, but Jon thought he could see a cut on the bottom of Caleb's tongue as well. Caleb's chin was bleeding, though it looked more like a sharp bruise than a cut.

Jon and I both had in our minds that Caleb had bitten through his tongue...and we had no insurance. This is why people never go without insurance. It's for those moments that no one ever expects. And here we were with nothing. Nothing but a cup of water and a juice pop.

Thankfully it didn't take long for us to realize that the bleeding had subsided. Caleb's tongue, though hurt, had not been cut through enough to need stitches. Caleb was done with being outside, and we finally stopped his tears by allowing him to play with the water in the sink to his heart's content.

I was happy to see that Caleb ate his dinner and drank his milk with no problem, and though he did fuss a little more than normal as he went to sleep, I think he'll be okay. I'm thankful that it's taken almost 16 months of Caleb's life for me to be in this situation, where I had to be the mom who knew what to do. I'm so grateful that I haven't had to do this sooner. And I am extremely thankful that it ended up being a minor incident.

It has, however, shone a glaring light on our lack of insurance, and I feel like staying home and wrapping Caleb up in pillows until it's all worked out. I'd appreciate your prayers of peace and protection for our family, and for a minor miracle to occur for us to be approved for insurance, hopefully by the company with which we've applied, since it's the only one we've found that will cover pre-existing pregnancy and since it would probably take quite awhile to go through the whole process again with another company.