"Daddy, how do I know when I'm in love?"
"Well, love is...pervasive."
"Oh. Um...okay. Thanks."
That conversation--though I didn't understand it at the time--changed my life. Pervasive: it permeates everything. It's the explanation I've passed on many times to girls asking the same question. When you think about the future, do you think of [fill in blank with potential spouse] with you in everything? Not just running through fields of joy together, but do you think of him as the guy who sits across the table from you every morning, who deals with your imperfections, or who holds your hair back for you when you're puking? That's pervasive. That's love!
My conversation with my dad answered my question--yes, I was in love with Jon, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.
Now, without realizing it, I find another pervasive love creeping up. A love I really hadn't expected to appear until November.
As I'm sitting in church or talking with friends, I look down at my belly, or place my hand over the spot where Caleb is moving. I drift away into daydreams--taking Caleb to the zoo, rocking him, singing to him, and eventually teaching him to sing and play and be an active little kid.
In these daydreams, Jon is always with me (pervasive, remember?)--my first love together with this new love! What a blessing to be in love!