Thirty-One Weeks

This week hasn't brought a whole lot of change. My mental health has been a lot better recently, so thanks for those of you who have been praying for me in that area, and please continue!

I will admit I have gotten stressed lately about when people are doing what, and nothing like throwing in the two biggest holidays of the year (for me, anyway) to make things more confusing. A little easier, in a way, because people will be traveling or off work already, but I just start thinking about it, and I feel I have to orchestrate the whole family, so 1) Jon and I aren't completely overwhelmed and tired out with hosting/traveling (oh...and figuring out a baby...), and 2) everyone gets to see Caleb. I know it will all work out just fine, but that's not helping me worry less for some reason.

*Edit* I have the best husband in the world. He just called me and we talked out a really good plan, I think. Of course, it depends on everyone else's schedules as well, but we'll be calling around to make sure that will work for everyone (mostly parents). I know six weeks is going to fly by, but right now it sounds like a long and wonderful time. It will be great to have the luxury of spending good amounts of time with family, and still have weeks where it's just us--the three of us--to figure each other out. Did I mention I have a great husband?

Onward with the post: The other night I couldn't sleep. It was the night after my dr. appt. and our last Lamaze class, so I guess it was just my mind not letting me sleep. Anyway, I finally got up at 4:45 and started writing lists (this is what I do when I'm stressed). I listed out what to pack for the hospital and the exact steps I should take after contractions start (stuff like feeding the cats before going to the hospital, who to call when, etc.). Since then, I've also added lists of what I need to have accomplished in Sept, Oct, and Nov. I'm sure those lists will appear here soon.

So, that's where I am mentally. Physically, I feel fat and flabby. And you can't tell me I'm not, because my legs have certainly changed their constitution! I'm not saying my legs were ever bikini model shape, but biking and pilates did keep them in relative shape. Now, well, now it's not such a pretty picture. We went swimming on Tuesday, and I hope it's something we can keep up, because I really enjoyed it, and felt like I was doing something--anything--to be active, which is a good step! I've about outgrown my step-up bras, so I need to step up one more...this time I'm wondering if I should go ahead and get nursing bras, but for as cheaply as I got these, I may just wait a bit longer on that.

It's odd how our self-perception changes. I was looking at a picture the other day of me a few years back in a dress that I've always been a little self-conscious about. It wasn't the greatest at hiding my stomach pooch. But when I saw that picture today, I thought, "Man, I was skinny! Look at that flat stomach!" The same happens when I look at my beginning belly pics. When I posted those first photos, I thought, "Well, now the world knows about my flabby belly." And now I look back and I'm pretty impressed at myself! :) I know my world will be up-side-down after Caleb comes, but I'm really hoping I can get back to that kind of shape. I wasn't really happy with it at the time, but it's looking pretty good from this side!

And how is Mr. Caleb this week? He's 16 inches long, 3.3 pounds, and "heading into a growth spurt!" Woohoo! I haven't felt a lot of sharp kicks lately, but he's almost always moving. I even felt what I think was a heel under my hand...and way on my side. I thought those were love handles, but it turns out Caleb lives there, too! He's taking over my belly!