Friday, September 05, 2008

Twenty-Nine Weeks

This week I've started to feel more pregnant. When my parents were here to help with the nursery, my getting up and down got a lot slower, and I did a lot of sitting and directing when I would have rathered help out. My lower back is starting to hurt, and bending down to put my shoes on has become a chore. I usually cheat and just wear flip-flops; then my belly growth becomes more obvious when it's been a few days since I've tried to reach my toes!

I'm also grumpier. There is just no way around it. I feel...different. Blah. Not depressed, but not happy. Just here. I don't know if that's hormones, lack of sleep, lack of vacation, or too much stress. Or all of the above! I don't have any motivation at work, or inspiration in creativity. I'm starting to dread the words, "Lydia's creative; let's ask her!" because I'm stuck stammering, trying to get my brain to jump into gear. It's a horrible feeling to be in a creative profession and not feel creative.

I've also had about the most scatterbrained week of my life. I've forgotten/overlooked things at work, lost things at home, misplaced Sunday School signups. I've always joked about how scatterbrained I am, but it's reached alarming proportions this week!

I fel like I'm walking around in a fog. No emotion, unless it's angry or snippy. No thoughts, unless they're jumbled and confused. No creativity. At all. And no happy, carefree-ness. Has someone swapped my brain for a bowl of angry mush?? Whatever has happened, I'm thankful it hasn't been all the way through the pregnancy, and I'm thankful for my very understanding friends and family. And I look forward to my maternity leave, when I can take a break from most things. I know...I'll have this little bundle of complication keeping me awake and taking away any sanity I might have hung on to, but at least I'll know his needs are pretty simple, and in most cases I can fill them.

And that's my confession for today! One could probably read this and send me straight to a counselor, but I'm pretty sure it's just pregnancy. September is looking much less busy, and my only busy Saturday in October is going to the State Fair (I don't care how pregnant I am!), so things are looking up! Plus, today is absolutely gorgeous, and who can be ALL gloom and doom when there's a hint of fall in the morning air?

So, way too much about about Caleb?? The weeks are just ticking by.... He should be about 2.5 pounds and 15 inches long by now. His bones are starting to pack on the calcium, which means I get to eat more cheese to compensate! Hooray! And his rocking and rolling is still so fun. Sure, sometimes it's uncomfortable, but it's still not bad.

A few new people have asked lately if I'm expecting. Then they ask how far along I am, and I get confused. Do I tell them 7 months, since 29 weeks is a little over 7 months, when considering a month is 4 weeks? But then they think I'll have the baby in two more months, which I won't. I still have almost three months. But I'm certainly not just 6 months along, and dang-it, I've earned the right to count every day! So I try to tell them I'm due at the end of November, and hope that suffices. Lately, every response is, "but you're still so small!" I don't feel small, and I'm pretty sure my size is normal for 29 weeks. However, I do understand, because I myself was under the misconception that mama is full-blown belly throughout the last trimester. I'm happy that I'm not!

So there's week 29 for you, in all its glory! Things are getting exciting, I love that my house is in place and put together, and I can't wait for fall and the holidays! Because that means Caleb will be here!


  1. This, too, shall pass, dear. The grumpiness is entirely hormonal. (Well, the stress factor does count, too.) You'll get a "vacation" when the baby comes, right? haha

    Really, though, just having a different routine and no job expectations and deadlines will be wonderful. You'll enjoy mothering, I know.

    Hang in there! Just 12 weeks to go!!

  2. I'm sorry you have felt out of sorts, but hopefully that will pass soon.

  3. Definitely tell them you're 7 months - they'll ask again next week anyway, and you can just be 7 months for a while :)

    Hang in there - it's all down hill from here!

  4. I hear ya! I think my anxiety about wanting Sophie to be here is what causes my grumpiness...which leads to no motivation at work and no desire to do anything at all except maybe eat more chocolate...which leads to anxiety about gaining excess weight...which makes me grumpy! Ahh! The never-ending cycle!


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